Importance of an Ideal When We “Marry Reality”

Man of experience emphasizes the importance of an ideal when we try to build a most important relationship that is meant to last  

Part 3 of an interview in Episode 2 of “Why I Stayed – Unificationist Stories”, where Jack Corley, a farmer’s son from Ireland, tells his story. 

See part 1: Reason for Joining: God Became a Reality See part 2: More Than a Belief: Finding a Living, Loving God   See part 4: Joining Was “the Best Decision in My Life”  See part 5: 50 Years Devoted to Peace in Troubled World

See the video of the interview

Presenter: And as we jump to the family here, let’s talk about that. Unification Church [now Family Federation] families are building “ideal families”, as you said, and the Kingdom of Heaven on the earth. How is it going on in real life?

Jack: It’s challenging. However, I believe that without a vision, as the Bible says, people perish. We actually need to have an ideal. But sometimes the practical realisation of the ideal is not easy. It’s never been. But I do believe that based on our understanding, it is achievable. And I think that will become more real as time goes by.

Through our tradition of Blessings, as we call them, we believe that God should be a central part of a person’s life and family life. If we can achieve that in reality, then we will build happier, healthier and more joyful families.

But not everyone succeeds. That’s just the reality that we have to deal with.

Presenter: Would you say your couple is different from other couples?

Jack: I’m hesitant to use “different” because it sounds like exclusivity, and religion has often been guilty of that. […]

Presenter: How long have you been married?

Jack: I’ve been married since 1989. My wife is from the United States.

Presenter: And I would assume she is a member of the Unification Church [now Family Federation].

Jack: Yes, she is, yes.

Presenter: All right, so you then probably dream of building that “ideal family” we just talked about. How does it come around?

Jack: Well, to be very frank, we believe in an ideal, but we marry reality. And of course, reality means having to bring a man and a woman together. That’s the same for any marriage.

But what is an advantage, I would say, in our case, is that we do not just look at each other, but we look together at a vision for our future and how our family should be. Without that kind of vision, it’s very difficult to have a guideline how to create a happy and successful family.

Through many trials and errors, like any marriage, my wife and I have developed a very happy relationship. Now we’re both 70 years old and we are, I would say, in a very happy stage in our life. And I think that’s the result of the common vision that we have about marriage and family.

Presenter: I think relationships and how to build sustainable, long-term relationships is always a big question. A vision is great, but what if you break it down to reality? How is it reflected in your day-to-day life?

Jack: One of the things that’s a central motto in our movement and in our life is the concept of “true love”. And what is that defined as? Living for the sake of the other. Let’s say we habitually begin to think like that, in other words, when I wake up in the morning, shouldn’t I think about my wife? How is she doing? Did she sleep well? Is she healthy?

And if we learn to practise that, make it a habit, then we mutually support one another. If we become self-centred, problems begin to arise. But when you try always, and with a sincere motivation, to be there for the other, then you are much more likely to succeed. I believe that’s the root of where we’re at right now.

Presenter: It sounds perfect. I live for your sake; you live for mine. It’s an ongoing, constant effort. That sounds really great.

Slightly edited text

Continued in part 4: Joining Was “the Best Decision in My Life”

See part 1: Reason for Joining: God Became a Reality See part 2: More Than a Belief: Finding a Living, Loving God See part 4: Joining Was “the Best Decision in My Life”  Part 5: 50 Years Devoted to Peace in Troubled World

Featured image above: A couple looking towards an ideal. Illustration: Microsoft Designer Image Creator, 16th September 2024.

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